Why We Chose to Keep Our Son Intact

Not long after finding out we were having a son, I started doing my research on the topic of circumcision. I had assumed we would have it done after his birth like most every baby and man I know but like every other decision I made for my son, I wanted to know I had done a fair amount of research first to backup my decision. Making decisions for another human being before they are able to do it for themselves is not something I take lightly.

So I did quite a bit of googling, finding all kinds of personal stories, blogs, articles on medical websites, both for and against the procedure. I also had a stack of pregnancy books that touched on the subject a bit. I did my best to keep an open mind and read the facts, not the opinions I came across.

After many many hours of research I sat down and brought all the facts I had learned, websites bookmarked and said to my husband, "Okay, so let's talk about circumcision." His immediate response was, "oh he's getting circumcised! I don't want him to be different than me!" 😒 My feeling was that being different is not a good reason to make a decision on his behalf.

After an evening of discussion we came to the decision that we would leave our son intact and now my husband will tell you he wishes his parents had left him intact as well. His mindset has completely shifted now that he has read the facts about circumcision. Now he will have a heated discussion with anyone who doesn't want to keep their son intact and debate the facts with them. It is amazing how just a few hours of reading, Youtube, and learning the facts can completely change your perspective and decision. I hope other parents will spend at least a few hours researching this very important decision they are making for their child.

I wanted to share this information because I know there are other parents out there with this decision on their mind. I am not putting any guilt or blame on parents that do decide to have their son circumcised or did in the past. This is a personal decision for you to make as the parents of your child with the consult of your pediatrician. As an intactivist, I simply want to help educate the uninformed about circumcision and spread knowledge. I hope this post does not offend anyone as that is certainly not my intent. I have so much love and compassion for other mothers and babies, so please take what you need from this article and feel free to share it with anyone expecting a son! 

10 Reasons We Chose to Keep Our Son Intact

This information helped us make our decision, these are all outside links from many different sites:

1. It is his penis, his body, his decision.
2. Circumcision is not medically necessary.
3. Circumcision does not prevent UTIs or infections.
4. Circumcision does not prevent STDs.
5. 70% of parents are now choosing to leave their son intact in the US.
6. 90% of boys are intact in the rest of the world.
7. Circumcision is associated with poorer sex satisfaction because it removes the most sensitive part of the penis. 
8. Circumcision is very painful and traumatic for the infant, even though they cannot tell you or remember, doesn't mean it is not leaving an effect.
9. Babies have died having circumcision perform and from complications resulting from it. 1 every 2 days in the US!
10. If he was born with it, then why would we need to remove it? We do not remove any part of the female genitalia.

My Feelings On the Circumcision

I was simply not willing to subject my child to a cosmetic procedure that is not medically necessary and that has a risk of death. If I wouldn't put myself through that, I certainly wouldn't do it to my son. He is a helpless tiny baby who only wants to be held and loved, not strapped down to a plastic board and cut into without any anesthetic. To me that sounds like how we might treat a terrorist during an interrogation, not a newborn baby. If you don't think it is that bad or you've heard that babies don't even cry because it doesn't hurt, I invite you to watch this video, it is graphic and so sad I haven't been able to watch the whole thing. Makes me cry just thinking about that helpless baby, all he really wants is to be held and feel the love of his mother, especially just a day or even hours after being born. What a traumatic event to experience when you are expecting a calm, peaceful, loving world.

If you are a new parent or are expecting a baby boy soon, I hope you will do your research, read the links above, and make this decision with the utmost consideration of your son, not your own desires or what you think you would want but what he would want. This is his decision, that you are making on his behalf so make it carefully and wisely. If you have any doubts, then do not do it. Follow your gut, your instincts are more right than we often believe.

Feel free to share this post with your spouse, family, or friends who are also open to learning why circumcision is not needed and your baby boy was born perfect just the way he is!

Additional links to get involved, learn more, and spread awareness:
Saving Our Sons
Peaceful Parenting
Intact Arizona or your local chapter
The Whole Network
Intact Network
Google: Mom Regret Circumcision
Medical Documentary: An Elephant in the Hospital
Mom Vlogger Regrets that She Didn't Know Any Better